It is not with the lyre of someone in love that I go seducing people. The rattle of the leper is what sings in my hands. Jane Kenyon

Saturday, September 09, 2006

SEEKING ASYLUM

 
SEEKING ASYLUM

"I have Schizophrenia and I am treated like
a pariah. I hope I have Alzeimer so that I
can forget the bad, the ugly and the painful."
xxx, a patient.

I
have been
i
n
t
e
r
n
e
d
And now I am in a cell I am not
nucleus of, my crime, "Teenage
graffiti on the wall of an adult
mind!" says the police of my mime.

Hallucinations
I see hobbits, aliens, flying Harrys and UFOs,
dinosaurs and dungeon dragons. No one believes
me, I see the smiles beneath their smiles. Suddenly
Hollywood makes movies of them, everybody raves,
"A tribute to the imagination, the temple
of the mind...." But that is where I worship too!

Portrait
They show me my pictures. Chest X-Ray, a white
dove trapped in a black bird cage. MRI
of brain, a plate of negatives, I am black
moon casting white shadows, the darkroom unmade
me. This is box camera technology that
under exposes my colours, prints my portrait
in post-mortem black and white.

Moon-dial
My clock is a moon-dial, it chronographs
the stolen hours, the short hand counts hours
amputated by drugs, the long numbers the shock
hours spent in the convulsive eye of an
electrical storm.

stigma
i learn a new word
stigma is not botanic
the term is social

Sin
Today I think about sin, the unseen
and the seen. I know my own seen
is as many as the leaves of a deciduous
tree, each leaf the serpent of my right
mind seducing the eves of my left
days. And I know that the difference
between my seen and your unseen
is the thickness of a fig-leaf
I don't care to wear. Posted by Picasa

54 comments:

Plus Ultra said...

This has been a difficult poem to write, I hope it will help us appreciate the normal people marginalised by our abnormal prejudice, they are also "just a little lower than angels and created in the image of God" like the rest of us!

Amalendu said...

This is a lovely poem, rather, a lovely set of poems....
"the poetry of Medical Sciences"

Unique Designs from Zazzle said...

one man's praise is another man's prison

life is introspective

Margie said...

You touch us all with the beauty of your words!
You teach us so much about humanity!
Beautiful!

dumbdodi said...

Dear Plus Ultra
Great poem indeed. Very few can feel some one else's pain like you do. Also I think with psychiatric/psychological diseases it is much more difficult to identify and relate to them. But you, you did it beautifully and very importantly gracefully

C... said...

I had a schizophrenic uncle. This makes me think of him.

The Site Administrator said...

beautiful work, plus ultra. thank you.

serenity said...

"They are also 'just a little lower than angels and created in the image of God' like the rest of us!"

Amen. Bless you for your compassion. May we all carry it with us...always more beyond.

And another stunning piece of art hanging here. Just beautiful.

Alicia M B Ballard StudioGaleria said...

Dear PlusUltra
It is very caring of you to point out the humanity and “equal-ness” of people that have to manage their lives around mental health issues – particularly, as if it would be of choice.

I have had the opportunity to meet (after my own “meltdown” in ’96 and subsequent facilitation of mental health management workshops) a number of individual afflicted with this condition and, I cannot begin to comprehend how they manage to live their lives with such strength and dignity, in the majority of cases.

I personally appreciate you bringing up this issue, as you have also brought up depression, which is the leading cause of disability around the world affecting 10% of the population.

Again, compassionate words, fantastic art.
I feel privileged and thankful to the Universe for having brought you into my life - as you are a gift to the world.


Love and blessing to you!

Masago said...

Thought-provoking. Another great painting. How do you make these?

floots said...

this is stunning work
difference is a state of mind - from both sides
thank you

Plus Ultra said...

Thanks everyone for stopping by......My daughter Cheryl-Lyn remarked that I have a new circle of very creative friends.!"...Floots as usual has a very interesting comment, it means more than what it says, I will have to wait another day before I comment on his very penetrating (also very incisive) comments, one that really divides the marrow from the bone!Masago, it is what I call Paper Batik Montage, click on Angeldust, see what she has tried out...stunning.Angel did you catch my comments ? Thanks....everyone, have a good week ahead, it is Monday tomorrow, I am sure all good things will be yours and more as always beyond!!!

dsnake1 said...

oh plus, a stunning piece of work. i see it as a set of stand-alone poems, even there is a haiku.

knowing me, you know i will like "prints my portrait in post-mortem black and white." :)

my favourite is "Sin", powerful and thought-provoking. i keep reading it again, trying to dig deeper into the beauty of those words.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

This is powerful and a bit frightning. Great work!

Alicia M B Ballard StudioGaleria said...

WOWIEE?
I had a thorough look after enlarging your last one… hmmm, I think I figured some things out!
I could not go to sleep last night anticipating… this next one is definitely going to be “a montage”!
Ahhh, I so much appreciate your support, and passing on your wife Sylvia’s commets!

Love, joy and many blessings to Silvia, your daughter Cheryl-Lyn (and any other loved one we may not know about) and yourself.
You all have a great week .

Pat Paulk said...

Mental illness is such a stigma, because it's one of those things that bumps in our brains at night. There, but for the grace of God, go I. This is a powerful write!!

Plus Ultra said...

dsnake1, thanks for dropping by....yes I like that too,there is a play on the words sin and seen and the allusion to what is normal and abnormal behaviour (campare our seen sins and our unseen sins), I believe floots caught that and hence his comment...have a good Monday and the rest of the week, bye till I see you on your blog

steve said...

plus ultra - answering here - you are most welcome to link to my blog. Thank you for an encouragement like this. I like your writing very much. I would like also to add a link for your site.

steve

Plus Ultra said...

My dream project, a book of art with a single contribution from each of my blogging friends and then launch it at a grand dinner-cum-fellowship event, maybe in Bali!!We can have poetry, paintings (oil,H2O colours, acrylic, batik, Chinese brush drawings,mixed media, collage, ATC) pictures of wacky bags and priceless necklaces (and if you dont know from whom, sorry, you have miss out big...), photographs, installation art and art from discarded things (Jon, of course)...glass art, pottery and even short stories (Paula, of course), short prose (who else but dddi)and oh, yes, ghazals from Medusa...I like to dream because I know there is always more beyond.....what I read on your posts...

Osquer said...

Wow! So many ideas colliding in my brain right now...I need to read this a few more times to sort them all out, but they have a grip of fascination on my thoughts. I work in a prison, so the cell images are especially striking for me.

Plus Ultra said...

Thanks for dropping by, osquer42, I am glad you feel that way...I try to go beyond, to the depths of our inner man, to the depths of our hearts, our humanity....and verbalise what our spirits feel....

Anonymous said...

Talking about short stories -
Where can we read about those
interesting short stories which
you had written? It would be great
for all those nice people out there
to read them.

Plus Ultra said...

CTY, my short stories were published in the Star Newspaper when they were running the Clove section some years ago, I will be happy to let you have copies of these, there were some 8 or 9 short stories published...after that it was too much for my short attention span!!!!!and I retired from short stories to concentrate on poetry!

S.L. Corsua said...

Kianseng, your poetry has me stunned to the core. The part here about the 'Portrait' is, for me, very stark -- the images seem to lay siege to my mind:

a white
dove trapped in a black bird cage

I am black
moon casting white shadows, the darkroom unmade
me.


You have here a most intriguing, creative way of referring to the chest x-ray and the MRI. I find myself nodding in agreement as I read your words; I picture them, and remember the times when I myself have had my "pictures" taken in such manner. Ahh, I am grateful to have read this. ^_^

Cheers.

p.s.
As regards your query, by all means, it would be an honor to be included in your links. Many, many thanks.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Papa / Kong Kong
Love
Cheryl, Andy & Naomi

gulnaz said...

to suffer for your mind's diseases is a terrible fate...even if its a marginal problem, even then its terrible and the problems which you talk about are very sad. alzheimers is scary!!! i hope they find a cure for it, yesterday!

very well written!

Plus Ultra said...

Thanks, soulless and gulnaz....appreciate your comments.Naomi, Kongkong miss you and wish you are back at Emohruo to celebrate...grandma and kongkong celebrated with Uncle Chai and Auntie Tay at the New Kowloon Restaurant.

Alicia M B Ballard StudioGaleria said...

Oooops!
It "all" bombed, Kiansend dear, with the new paints... I'm heartbroken - ouch - :)

However, much revived reading your "dream idea" - you know ...! It all began with someone's dream

Much love and blessings to you and yours

Medusa aka expiringpoet said...

wow plus! one of your strongest poems yet! Powerful and superbly sensitive. Write on, babe! :)

Pecos Blue said...

This was very good. I enjoyed it-wanted to stop reading but wanted more at the same time.

Alicia M B Ballard StudioGaleria said...

PS
Good day to you and yours
A little update...

Will be trying to locate some "transparent/translucent" paints in the next few days-week.
Planning a series on frogs,love them!

But, I have to give a few days to jewelly making as the gallery sales picked up (GOOD!) and I just got a new store on the beach ( with a section dedicated to Chakras) interested in carrying them.

Anonymous said...

This is a powerful poem.

I'd have to read this a few more times to really grasp the depth of this piece!

Brilliant!

Prmod Bafna said...

Absolutely briliant set of writes! loved the hallucinations part in particular!! Very well connected and as always the pleasure of being washed by the enticing imagery!! :)

CopyMe said...

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alicia M B Ballard StudioGaleria said...

Warm greetings
Just posted "the bombs"...
:)

Plus Ultra said...

To get a comment from your own son(and what a one syllabe Comment!!) is worth all the work I put in and especially when I know he is very creative with words and his advertisements for SPCA were just graphically superb, thanks Jay!

Alicia M B Ballard StudioGaleria said...

:)

Hmmmmmmmm? :)
I am sure something may be arranged... something like a trade?
Or that is too presumptuous on my part?

Some of the works are going to the Gallery in early October.
As exhibits are scheduled for the next two years, this size is about the "largest" I can submit on an ongoing basis - Will be looking for other venues as it all unfolds.

Thank you sooooo much for your support.
It is truly invaluable!

serenity said...

PlusUltra,
I echo your words back to you about this oasis of refreshment you have created here.

I am honored by your visit and for bringing your loving light to my humble blog home.

Peace, joy, and many blessings flowing to you.

M. Shahin said...

This was excellent plus ultra.

I did a paper about schizophrenia, and it brought back a lot about what I read and researched.

I think you do a great job of showing the human side, and that God gave each of us unique challenges.

I also love the artwork. It fits the poem so well.

Nice blog...I'll be back in the future :-)

baseball gods said...

Dear Plus Ultra

This really moved me. You are gathering quite a creative community here, and I'm glad to be part of it.

kami haiku

Don Iannone, D.Div., Ph.D. said...

Lovely poem Plus Ultra. You have such feeling for people. I imagine you are a wonderful doctor.

Plus Ultra said...

Don, Kami, thanks for dropping by, anyon knows where Aurora's latest posting is? I have not encounter her for a week or so and thats strange.......by the way check out Angeldust latest, she's prolific and I cant keep up with her, pant, pant!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Dr. Ng. I was offline for a bit but I'm back. Nick and I had to close down our group blog, Magnapoets, due to some technical difficulties, but we hope to be back with a better, more streamlined blog via typepad.

polona said...

wow, plus, this is such a powerful write, showing (as always) a great, compassionate soul behind the words. thank you.

ufukhati said...

plus ultra,

Always very nice poems appear on your page. I love them.

If your wish, do visit : jendeladan kemeja.blogspot.com (or wan a rafar)

Of course, you might put me on your links if you like.

Thank you.

ufukhati said...

1. Always very nice poems appear in your page. Very nice.

2. Do visit : jendeladan kemeja.blogspot.com or wan a rafar.

3. As you please.

krystyna said...

Hi PlusUltra !
Your place is absolutely fantastic ! This really impressed me ! I think you are a great man !
The best for you !

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

Still waiting for more!!! :)

POTASH said...

Mhh...just happened on your blog. Plus Ultra and a doctor... reminds me of Charles V's doctor..lol.
I love your poetry must return.

Plus Ultra said...

Andrew...I will post in a few days, probably on Saturday, I cannot keep up with you guys, you post almost daily, I need two to three weeks to come up with a poem and sometimes the poem is abandoned after I thought I have completed it...I think I am not what they call a natural ' poet', unlike you, Pat, floots...etc, thanks for being patient.....

Unknown said...

The imagery in this poem is so unsettling: "Teenage
graffiti on the wall of an adult
mind!" and "black moon casting white shadows." It highlights what must be the difficult feeling of trying to function in reality with an illness that is beyond your control.

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Thank-you for visiting-an amazing poem will be back to read more a I would be happy to have you link to me

Plus Ultra said...

Christine, You are so right, I was trying to depict the patient's struggle with his symptoms (he has no control over them) and also the prejudice of people around him, especially the immediate circle of friends and family...I believe the patient wants to be completely healed but....anybody read Scott Pecks theory of mental illness in 'The Road less travelled'?

Anna Piutti said...

This is a truly amazing piece!